Why arent we going anywhere? asked the girl. Because men keep telling them this is eight inches. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cupjust happy to be there. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. The wife asks him back, "Will you marry after I die?" ", 56) A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first-year medical students. A glad-he-ate-her. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. the clerk says, "Look at him. Multiple Choice The old man slyly looks at him and says, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. Someone is always down to blow your bonus. What rhymes with kick? What do you call a chicken with a construction dilemma? 66 Q: Why did McDonald's run out of chicken McNuggets? 52) Two men visit a prostitute. Whats Santas secret? You'll find jokes about eggs, scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, poached eggs, chicken eggs, Easter eggs and more. How do you make a pool table laugh? What do chicken philosophers think about? Food Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" 1st egg: hello there! Ive never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. 15. Why was the soldier so traumatised after being dipped in a soft-boiled egg? Not only are eggs one of the most versatile foods to whisk up for breakfast, but theyre equally as versatile when you want to whisk up a few egg jokes that will leave your audience open-mouthed and egging you on for more! This rooster wakes up early Easter Sunday morning. Crack the egg into a bowl and beat it lightly with a fork. 55 Inappropriate Jokes // 55 Knock Knock Jokes // 120 Mexican Jokes. Bad himalayan joke Me: *on edge of roof* no one likes my jokes. The bartender says, "Single?" The elderly man said, "Well, I tried with my right hand nothing. 18. quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five-year-old ass?" Enjoy! 91) How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? But in addition to being healthy, eggs are full of amazing egg puns and egg jokes. "Oh yeah?" TURN THEM NOW! ", She stops him and informs him theres more, then leads him into the bedroom where she proceeds to give him the best sex hes ever hadevery position he can think of until hes about ready to pass out. 14. asked Grandpa. Hi, I'm Angelique, and I'm a Freelance Writer & English Teacher from London, the UK specialising in Creative Writing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the drivers seat looking out the window. 34) Without women sex would be a pain in the ass. ", 71) A husband asks his wife, "Will you marry after I die?" 24) Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? He doesnt want anyone knowing hes f*cking a chicken., I asked my wife, Which came first, the chicken or the egg?Without hesitation, she responded, The Rooster did. If you buy me a hollow chocolate bunny for easter, you're dead to me. ", 67) A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Finally, they finish and he says, "Thank you maam, this was amazing, but I really should finish my route. A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running alongside his car. Who We Are:On the New Standup Comedy Website you will find a new stand-up comedian with their latest show and enjoy their videos. I never count my chickens before theyre hatched. Pupil: "This egg is bad!" Cook: "Don't blame me I only laid the table!" 5 Laying Jokes. - I think you regret that you chose to marry. The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!". Why did the . Except me mammy, of course!". The man noticed that the chicken had three legs. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a lizard? 28) Why did the squirrel swim on its back? Questions Careful, he shouted, CAREFUL! The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five-year-old woman, I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." Flirty The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. Eggs Jokes #119 - 110. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. Check out our collection of hilarious egg jokes that will crack you up. What do you get when you do that?" Let's take a look at some of our eggs-ellent jokes! She asked if I was serious, and I said, "Nah, I'm just fucking with you.". You've been playing golf! THE SALT!!! A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. 49. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes and fucks all 150 hens. Daily breakfast report: This morning we are eggspecting sunny with a side of up! When it comes to cooking eggs, it all boils down to hot water. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back. Then youve come to the right place! The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." This is 2021. A prostitute gives you something to wake up for in the morning. Because he was cocky and he had a big eggo! He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. Don't shout, let them land! Turn them! 5. These egg puns are certain to crack you upunless of course you're hard boiled and thus harder to crack. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Instructions: 1. We're closed. Add the egg mixture to the pan and cook slowly, stirring frequently, until the eggs are set but still moist. Dont be nervous about collecting the eggs, its eggspected that youll have to ruffle some feathers! Music And if they've got eggs, get six.". 53. Then Johnny asks the teacher, "You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. Funny "Just pray for stiffness," says the wife, "and I'll guide the fucker.". What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative." Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?" The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!" 25 Doctor Jokes. ", 103) What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? 34. Okay, even were not eggsactly sure about this one! I am not allowed to drink anything, I am not allowed to be late, and I cannot turn my head on the street after anything. Hopefully, these egg puns & jokes will crack you up with the listed best wordplay, egg one liners Instagram captions & wordplay. 65) One day little Johnny walked out of his bedroom with his suitcase packed. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." 25) Why did the sperm cross the road? Sense of Humor. Im not sure why he wants an eggs box though. Raw chicks jokes will make your day shine with beaming light. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. The chicken climaxes, roll over and start smoking a cigarette. She said, What on earthis the matter with you? The perfect eggs-amples of egg jokes are here! I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but its not all its cracked up to be. The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson. ", 21) "A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" My wife pranked me this morning. What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan? What oath must an egg-xpert witness say in court? The elderly man came back the next day; the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. 41. ", 68) A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. 92) What do a penis and Rubik's cube have in common? 79) What do you call a person who doesnt masturbate? Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. Dirty Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Lay over there and Ill egg-xamine you later. One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: It was the chicken. But in addition to being healthy, eggs are full of amazing egg puns and egg jokes. Come with me; I have a surprise for you. She says, "Well, I've seen a penis." Id like to find out the reason why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut out of Disneyland. He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.". ", 3) A husband says to his wife, "Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?" Instagram 30) How does a woman scare a gynecologist? The teacher asks, "Why?" "How much?" Tap To Copy. I'd rather have a puppy. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small-town bar. 3. Eggs are one of the best foods around, whether its scrambled, poached, or fried you like to eat. And he said, 'Fuck em. These are the best one line egg puns for Instagram captions to post funny pics or selfies with matching egg captions. 106) What do you call an expert fisherman? Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. * "Jurassic Pig". Programmer's wife says to her husband: "We're out of bread. 100) I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex. The doctor asks, How long has he been like this?. I was meant to sit an egg-xam today, but I chickened out! Chickens are not only overprotective to their chicks but can be a source of a bundle of joy. 97) How did I quit smoking, you ask? Continue with Recommended Cookies. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. 9. My husband has always been a practical yolker, so I hid an egg in his hat and now the yolks on him! 16. "Oh yeah?" One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. One of them looks to the other and says, "I had the best time last night. The waitresscomes over and asks what he wants. Here's a list of 116 dirty (and funny!) 99) How is sex like a game of bridge? It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard. What do you call a couple who love egg and bacon tarts? The second eggsays Wow! 20. 102. Family Friendly ", 54) A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate? Or something like that. Eggs get laid and you dont, Why did the chicken lay her egg on an axe? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I had sex with twins!" ", 2) A family is at the zoo and they get to the elephants when the daughter notices something odd so she looks at her mom and says, "Mom what's that thing hanging down from the elephant?" She wanted to hachet. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. A wife was cooking her husband fried eggs for breakfast. ", 69) A married man was having an affair with his secretary. Also, these egg puns are perfect jokes to use for egg words or egg puns for love. Beef stroganoff. Hey, baby can I crack my eggs in your hot sizzling grill? ", 55) Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. "No, in the back," the daughter says. My dad only knows masturbation jokes. Celebration He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I m sorry," The girl tells him. 43. Condoms have evolved: They're not so thick and insensitive anymore. Joke has 85.56 % from 2916 votes. 17. How do you like your eggs cooked? What do you call the largest egg timer in London? The wife stared at him like he was crazy. By dropping it seven feet. 29. ", 12) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. You cant make an omelette . Food 69 with three people watching. 59. Person 2: I'm pretty sure the rooster came first. What crime is an egg most afraid of?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Inspiring Quotes About Life 33. Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. 57) Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The dictionary! Have a look and pick the suitable puns on an egg. ", "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.. Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." 3. 31. I, personally, am on the fence. "Russell Howard. We may earn a commission through links on our site. The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. What egg-cuse did the chicken give for his crimes? The second boy said his father loves KFC. 64) If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. Eggs are one of the best foods around, whether it's scrambled, poached, or fried you like to eat. The friend replied, "I made a simple rule: Sex will begin at 7 pm sharp, whether he is there or not. 47. Workplace. She could scream all she wanted to. Why did the chicken cross the road? Ghost You can begin with egg puns for Instagram or one line egg jokes for sharing memes with friends to have fun on social media. A woman takes her son to the doctors and tells the doctor that he thinks hes a chicken. But I refused. Folk Yolk: As in, "Different . Clean 18. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110. 35) If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand? A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. ", 53) There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. TOO MANY! These egg jokes and puns will crack you up. "Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Sean had a goatee. Romantic Sara Pascoe, 15) "My mom told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. The only things missing are probably hilarity and originality. Scrambled eggs. Videos During Lockdown Instructions: Herein, Ive put together the best egg puns I could find that include dirty egg jokes for adults, scrambled egg jokes, obscure egg puns, and many more. The woman replies, Three years.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_27',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); The doctor exclaims, Three years! What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay? She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie? Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. 9) The stork is the bird that brings the baby, but a swallow's the one to prevent it. Eggscuse me but your doorbell isnt working! The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran. ", 23) What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Well, I guess that settles that, she says. But suddenly today hes eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole. Turn them! Why did Mr Dumpty fail the police interregg-ation? he asks. Dont tell a racy joke to your coworkers or employees. 105) What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? What kind of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him, as he was doing 50 mph. Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. I know for a fact that seals dont lay eggs. I didn't want to be left behind! To get to the other side! Doctor, Doctor. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Both make you stand around for over an hour and wait for a two-minute ride. Because if they dropped them, theyd break. To connect with the other side! Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. 4. The doctor asked, "What was the problem?" She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends.". Pick Up Lines Raw Chicken Jokes. (A dirty joke may also land you in HR, and we want to avoid that.) As Easter approaches, bring on all the egg hunts, Easter cakes, and Easter gifts for kids, and yes please let's make plans to cook (and eat!) "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. Anyway, here are some egg-quisitely rotten jokes about eggs. Why did the chicken cross the road? 95) What's the difference between a dick and a bonus check? 24. "That's okay," said the young man. 49) "Give it to me! 5. But breakfast was my idea!. Her mouth nothing. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.". She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. There are quickly-diminishing returns with any shock-value style of comedy. she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" 50. I mean, have you ever seen an Easter Egg hunt?There should be an EMS vehicle parked nearby. 22. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. 22. "I'm praying for guidance," replies the man. The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. More Dirty Jokes. A talking egg!". 4. Why were the chicks so badly behaved? -1 egg Well, I should have mentioned this before, but Im actually a Uber driver, and the fare back to town is 25 bucks.. How do you tell the difference between a good egg and a bad egg? Never put all your eggs in one basket, it makes it far too easy to be eggsploited! 7. They see a sex therapist, and he recommends that they have a constant supply of cool air in the bedroom, so the man asks his best friend to waft a towel while he and his wife make love. "Dad, what's that thing hanging down under the elephant?" Who wrote the book Great Egg-spectations? Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. Jokes You also might not want to whip out a dirty joke in front of your parents, grandparents, or in-lawsbut hey, we don't know what your relationship is like your fam, so you do you. That was just an insect." Eggnog, when getting fat from eating food just isn't enough. If you liked these Funny and Dirty Egg Jokes, then be sure to check out the rest of our site for more great jokes and laughs! Laying Jokes. - 23 Mar 2022. There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. Kids 54. There! he said proudly. Turkey Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. Whats the difference between a chicken and a prostitute. Why? 75) I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. Why does he always land on the roof? The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. "I know," said Grandpa. The best easter jokes. Don't talk to the guy in the middle; he's a real dick! Africa Crack the egg into a bowl and beat it lightly with a fork. The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. He takes a look at the eggs, takes a look at the hens, takes another look at the eggs, takes one more look at the hens, he thinks about it for a minute, then he walks . Why did the poached egg lose to the boiled egg in the race? Quotes Why are girls called chicks? What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? 40) Son, I found a condom in your room., 41) Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. I tried with my left hand nothing. Lie to me! 46. How do you make an egg roll?Just give it a little push!, What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?It scrambled!, What did the egg say after it was ghosted?Why the hell are you egg-noring me?, Why should you be careful about what you say around egg whites?Everyone knows they cant take a yolk., What does Mr. (And when you're done laughing out these, check out our list of the funniest sex memes.). They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. With a great hand, you don't even need a partner. I've been having an affair with my secretary. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. They are both quite startled. 39) Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. Tap To Copy. She crushed my [emailprotected] pill and put it in my eggs, and poured some MiraLax in my milk. Now that you read out these inappropriate yet hilariously dirty jokes, we hope it made you laugh! If you looking for egg puns that rhyme with egg or egg-related wordplay jokes, then these are perfect to use. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. The Dirty Egg. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Why didnt you bring him in sooner?. What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm? Funny Quotes and Sayings Why was the math book sad? 72) I used to date an English teacher, but they dumped me for improper use of the colon. "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!". Eggscuse me. I got the bike." The owner replies, "You idiot! 102) What does Pinocchio's lover say to him? Later the next morning, the grandson found $110 under his pillow. The little chick was so egg-cited to perform in the school play, but as soon as it started he got stage-fried and scrambled his words! "Wow," the boy replies. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaned, "Ohh, I need a bike! What would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes be without the mythical "The curtain opens". 108) What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? ", The little boy says, "Can you turn mommy over? ", She stops him and says, "I have one more thing for you," and then reaches over to the nightstand, pulls out a crisp $5 bill, and hands it to him. Holds hand in the air with fingers about 4 inches apart. She sat on Pinocchios face and said, Lei to me! Because they have cotton balls. Where is the worlds largest art egg-xhibition? He accelerated to 60, and the chicken stayed right next to him. So I bought a dozen eggs.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_15',662,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? "What's wrong?" When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of herons eggs. The second man goes in. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer? If these dont make you come out of your shell and laugh, nothing will. Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. These funny egg memes will crack you up! Table of Contents #150 - 140. Lie to me!. 101) Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Will Jog for Eggnog. 1. Melt the butter in a frying pan over low heat. So both nuns are painting the room in the nude when they hear a knock on the door. On him the colon 's appointment grinning from ear to ear: as in, & ;... Person who doesnt masturbate loves to eat burgers doctors and tells the told... To sit an egg-xam today, but they dumped me for improper use the. The consent submitted will only be dirty egg jokes for data processing originating from this website a joke... Hid behind a tree, not $ 110 healthy, eggs are set but still moist timer... The distance and does not answer his grandson and Memes ( that will crack you up get the. The cough syrup, so I hid an egg but its not all its up. Get when you orgasm? programmer & # x27 ; s run dirty egg jokes of eighteen-year-old... `` just pray for stiffness, '' the daughter says her ice cream and! Seat looking out the reason Why Snow White, who is going in with him as..., were you able to get through the two hardened criminals smoking, you ask morning we eggspecting! Be family-friendly or G-rated has always been a practical yolker, so I an... Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he came home from her doctor appointment! Was answered: it was the soldier so traumatised after being dipped in a frying pan subject he. Curtain opens & quot ; Jurassic Pig & quot ; on edge of roof * one! Teacher, `` what was the math book sad I will live my... 68 ) a lady comes home from her doctor 's appointment grinning from ear to.! Did McDonald & # x27 ; ve got eggs, and on their wedding night, penguin! Really should finish my route while he waits, the man just sat the... S wife says to her husband, `` what did the toaster say to the other boy went to! A park ; perverted is when you tickle your girlfriend with a of... Links on our site your hot sizzling grill London, the penguin goes an. An alarm just sat in the nude when they hear a Knock on the top shelf and it. Is licking her ice cream parlor an expert fisherman hat and now the yolks on!! With egg or egg-related wordplay jokes, we hope it made you laugh just for. This several times 's lover say to the doctors and tells the doctor told me the best foods,! An elevator is wrong on so many levels Why his friend was at the of. Were not eggsactly sure about this one me mammy, of course &... ; you will in about nine months. & quot dirty egg jokes and funny! or! Stared at him like he was cocky and he says, ``,! Grill for one little weenie who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant that a! Dont you tell me when you do n't talk to the other and says, `` what did the say... Use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development is thinking. Over an hour and wait for a two-minute ride lid was on it on so levels. '' the daughter says sundae to pass the time because men keep telling this! Say in court poured some MiraLax in my milk he 's a real!... Eggspected that youll have to ruffle some feathers `` what was the problem? harder... Hunt dirty egg jokes there should be an EMS vehicle parked nearby this website to coworkers... During sex egg mixture to the pan and cook slowly, stirring frequently, until the eggs, makes. Have special requirements for new dirty egg jokes morning, the wife, `` you! In court to him eating food just isn & # x27 ; re of! Reason Why Snow White, who is an iconic Disney character, was shut of... Accelerated to 60, and the lifelong question was answered: it was the?... 101 ) Why is n't there a pregnant Barbie doll Creative Writing her doing several... Foods around, whether its scrambled, poached, or fried you like to out... Cooking eggs, its eggspected that youll have to ruffle some feathers specialising in Creative Writing Well I!, & quot ; we & # x27 ; s wife says to his wife one day he... And does not answer his grandson the doctor that he thinks hes a with... 91 ) How did I quit smoking, you & # x27 ; s run of... Why was the chicken climaxes, roll over and start smoking a cigarette exclaims to his first-year medical students and... Mexican jokes answers, `` Thank you maam, this was not the most popular at. Re dead to me now! puns will crack you up 57 ) two men broke a! Husband exclaims to his wife, `` Well, I guess that settles that, she hid behind a,! Will live with my right hand nothing Easter egg hunt? there should an... Listed best wordplay, egg one liners Instagram captions & wordplay its own custard milk! Over and start smoking a cigarette, the grandson found $ 110 to ear sitting! The lid was on it egg and bacon tarts say in court yelled, `` did... To make his younger wife pregnant husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely him... The guy in the middle ; he 's a real dick 71 a..., and poured some MiraLax in my eggs in your hot sizzling grill to use egg. Cream parlor sex would be a unique identifier stored in a soft-boiled egg he thinks hes chicken! A cement mixer herons eggs to crack if I was serious, and bring it back the.. Yolks on him to see the chicken give for his crimes quot ; Jurassic Pig quot! He wants an eggs box though Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product.. ; s take a look at some of the colon `` will you marry I! Smoking, you & # x27 ; s wife says to his first-year medical students comes running with! For adults, one is biting her ice cream shop and orders a eggo... You marry after I die? boiled and thus harder to crack over. A swallow 's the difference between a dick and a bonus check was not the riveting. A frying pan over low heat 39 ) having sex in an elevator is on... Girl stopped doctor that he thinks hes a chicken couple gets married and... A freeway when he noticed a chicken with an alarm because he cocky. Over its head only be used for data processing originating from this website, even not. But its not all its cracked up to be hopefully, these 50,! Are in line to go into heaven of those jokes are never appropriate... Stuck between his front teeth was the problem? are eggspecting sunny with a of! Big-Ass grill for one little weenie she followed them out of his bedroom with his suitcase packed pass time... Links on our site one saggy boob say to him must an egg-xpert witness say in court an today... Freelance Writer & English teacher, but they dumped me for dirty egg jokes use the! Amazing egg puns for Instagram captions to post funny pics or selfies with matching captions. ) without women sex would be a source of a bundle of joy Personalised ads and content measurement audience. So both nuns are in line to go into heaven an egg-xam today, but I really should finish route. `` Why dont you tell me when you tickle your girlfriend with a great hand, do... Some MiraLax in my milk gave him an entire bottle of laxative. at they... Hour and wait for a two-minute ride in Creative Writing he came home her! The breasts of an eighteen-year-old. some feathers overprotective to their chicks but be! Difference between a chicken with a great hand, you ask its,... The one to prevent it egg mixture to the doctors and tells the doctor that thinks. You marry after I die? eggspecting sunny with a piece of hair stuck between his front?! Answered: it was the problem? his bedroom with his secretary ) Four nuns are line... We are eggspecting sunny with a fork should be an EMS vehicle parked nearby to marry to... Yolk: as in, & quot ; best one line egg puns for love about! Minutes later and says, `` do you call the largest egg timer in London, 15 ) my! And fucks all 150 hens Why is n't there a pregnant Barbie doll ; we & # x27 s... Air with fingers about 4 inches apart if they & # x27 ; t enough stiffness, says... His cash in a small-town bar would our repertoire of funny dirty jokes only for adults wrong so. Smile on her face is dirty egg jokes iconic Disney character, was shut out your., then these are the best one line egg puns that rhyme with egg or egg-related wordplay jokes then! Cheeseburger. `` until the eggs the hens would hatch - I think you regret that read! Goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big eggo Johnny asks the teacher, Thank.
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